Sometimes our weaknesses overpower our qualities and we end up in a mess in our interpersonal relationships. Dealing with our negatives can be a hardcore challenge for us.
However, using the following ways we can deal with them effectively :
1. Be you : Be the real person you’re and the ones who love you will accept you and be with you no matter what.
2. May be you can change or may be not : May be ones : Some negatives are such which can be changed for the better to some extent. It needs appropriate efforts, determination, patience and time to accomplish the change. When I say time it may mean a day, a week or weeks, a year or even years as well. Consistent support and acknowledgement of the dear ones is required to appreciate the efforts and to deal with the pitfalls if happen.
May be not ones : There are certain negatives which we are not able to change about ours even about years of persistent efforts. And that is completely fine. Not everything need to be resolved or worked upon inside us. One shall have an unconditional acceptance and love towards these ones. Those around you are going to accept and love you the same and even more, and those who don’t, they were never meant to stay with you.
3. Build positives : Knowing what you’re good at, enhancing it day by day makes you and the world a beautiful place to live in. The more we enhance the qualities we possess, the more we become a transcendent human being and the higher we grow as a mature soul. Embracing and working upon the qualities also lower the effect your negative can ever have over you or others, and can elevate the quality of your living.
We are beautiful souls, striving towards becoming better and magnificent day by day. We have abundance of love within us and around us, which if we unfold, make us reach our actualizing potential towards everything around us.
Two people have been seeing each other, exploring about each other. It’s been almost 6 months. Both of them meet at a coffee shop and the guy has something to say..
He: I have a confession to make.
She: Go ahead.
He: I love you romantically.
She: It’s a cliche.
He: Excuse me?
He: I seriously do love you in a romantic way.
She: Ah! Many people say and then disappear in the mist.
He: Look, I know how your past has been like..however every guy is not the same.
She: Every guy I felt for had walked away! What else do you need as a proof?
He: I know you feel for me since your actions reflect that and I feel for you too. I have not walked away and will never do as well.
She: I’m tired of listening to all this again and again when I know you’re going to leave or ditch me someday.
He: Few things..I love you to an extent that I won’t be giving up on you ever. I love everything about you be it your madness, irritability, care , affection and so on. I won’t leave you ever.
She: And what if I give up on you someday?
He: Ah! I like your question. Well, I won’t let you and if you supposedly do, you will come back.
She: How can you be sure about this?
He: If the love is true, there isn’t a single force or power that can stop two people from loving each other or being together.
She: How can you be sure that it is true?
He: There are certain things that only heart can feel and sense. I’m sure what we have is true and pristine.
She: I don’t think it’s going to work out. We’re very different. I have had such experience too.
He: You have had all the amazing experiences I would say! We’re different which makes us explore about each other more and that will keep the spark ignite tremendously. It’s going to work out pretty well.
She: How can you be so positive about everything when I’m so not? Don’t you hate me because of this?
He: Nope! I don’t hate you for this. I completely understand the insecurities you have due to your past. You need to trust me, believe in me and you’re going to see all those pitfalls breaking up.
She: My trust has been broken several times!
He: I’m not asking you to trust me completely. Start trusting me inch by inch. That would work.
She: How can you be so calm? I would have gotten mad at someone by now!
He: Hahaha! We’re opposite! Remember? And moreover, I can wait for you and thus won’t push you.
She: What is it that you want?
He: I want to be with you. I love you. I want you to be my partner. Will you be?
She (cries. He wipes off her tears, hug her): What if it doesn’t work out?
He: Unless we give it a shot none of us would know. Instead of overthinking can we trust ourselves and our choices?
She: Umm yeah.
She: It’s a yes. I’ll be your partner.
(Both hug each other and kissed thereafter).
Just like the relationship of Tom and Jerry an intimate relationship or any other kind has fights and clashes. What is really important is the way we deal with those clashes and make them the means to strengthen the bond. So how do we do it?
Three simple ways through which we can do can be:
1. Love maps : Include knowing about each other’s whereabouts, lives, likes and dislikes. Even in an argument, understanding the perspective of other and being curious to know the meaning behind not just settles the clash but also makes a bond insightful.
2. Small things : The power a tiniest gesture like a smile or a text holds is much stronger than gifting a massive masterpiece on a birthday or anniversary. Doing small things add on to the beauty of a relationship and increases the level of contentment.
3. Ego boundaries: The major wall of any relationship is in the ego limits which we usually have set up. Challenging them and initiating something can make one end up into a fruitful tie rather than sticking to “Why should I initiate” and so forth.
The way we respond and build understanding takes time and commitment to be together. When we engage ourselves in knowing someone rather than having a checklist to rule people out and when we invest in someone is when we build, maintain and sustain a beautiful relationship.
Have you ever felt that you have loved someone too much romantically but the love has never been reciprocated? Have you ever been ditched by someone for whom you have been selfless? Have you ever felt that everyone you have felt for walked away?
Rejections are a part of our lives. Have you ever been hopeful after all these rejections? Faith is a strong word and it is so strong that it can make anything possible. Everything you have done for someone, everything you have felt for someone, you will receive every bit of it..may be now, the next moment or someday but you will get. Person from whom you may get may not be same yet the intensity and purity with which you have radiated love will be the same. And the person will stay.
What you give you are going to get. Be it today, tomorrow or after some years. But it is going to happen.
Everything is going to make sense..today or tomorrow. What is important for us is to keep believing, loving and letting ourselves open up to the new explorations in our lives.
“And I walked down the same lane all over again and met with an accident again. I thought that it would work this time but alas! I was wrong. I have become disheveled in my actions now. I’m tired of all this. He gave me a reason to believe only to make me believe that it can’t happen with me. I’m too numb to respond to this. I’m too feeble to share with anyone. I walked down the same tunnel and landed up in a black hole. I wish I could have experienced true love but I think it’s too late now. The wounds are too strong”.
Some or may be many of us might have faced this situation or would have encountered a heartbreak at some point in our lives after which we almost stopped believing in “real intimate love”. Don’t you think that it has become a trend to just have someone without any strings attached? Going on dates, talking, getting physical and so on, we are doing everything without any reason and may be the reason could be to have someone for sometime.
So is this love? No! Love is the most deepest emotion which is beyond anything. It’s not the way someone says something it’s the way someone stays silent and you feel at peace. It’s not the way how conflicts are resolved it’s how partners admire each other’s strengths practically, it’s not about feeling sad upon leaving for home it’s about feeling the contentment towards the bond which has been built, it’s not about the occasional surprises it’s about the little things that makes an ocean or a couple complete. Love is a beautiful essence which when happens with someone she/he changes completely and it gets reflected in one’s actions. It’s really easy to utter something however one’s actions reflect everything. Nowadays, most of us know only to make promises and leave, we don’t know how to keep them intact, we make commitments but we are not bothered making any effort towards anyone.
Love seems to be lost in the mist and may be we can let it unfold only when we genuinely understand it’s real meaning.